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[Philip]

A member of the Democratic party, recently deceased, approached the Pearly
Gates. After exchanging pleasantries with Peter, he asked Peter what all
those clocks in the room were for.

Peter said there was one clock for each human being living on earth, and
they represented the amount of time each person had left to live on earth.

The deceased noticed that some clocks ran faster than others, and asked
Peter why some clock hands were moving faster than others. Peter replied
that when someone tells a lie, the hands will move faster thus shortening
the lifespan of that particular liar.

The deceased wondered where Bill Clinton's clock was located.

Peter said, "Oh that one? I keep it in the back room, and use it as a
ceiling fan."

[Scott in Florida]

On Thu, 25 Nov 2004 12:44:26 GMT, "Philip"
<1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:

[Gord Beaman]

"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
snip

[bb]

One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He
immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite
as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." Bush thought that sounded
pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.

In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in
and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate
in hell. "No, George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer
and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a
sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my
shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break
rocks all day," commented George.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a
spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she
does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can
handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to
go."



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