| Author |
Message |
Philip
Guest
|
 Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:48 am Post subject:
CAT Miracle! |
|
|
Cat Miracle Diet
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For
those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new
Miracle Cat Diet! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting
lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite).
the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure.
Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look
and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes
food. Good Luck!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day One
Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it
cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of
food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at
the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the
cleanest carpet in your house.
Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing.
Leave the rest to die.
Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate.
Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one
small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa.
Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this
morning.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day Two
Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it
onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of
the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the
dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of
the middle of the loaf.
Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss
and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under
the bed.
Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef
works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the
living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave.
Track footprints across the entire room.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day Three
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal
bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished
aluminum appliance you can find.
Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of
your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not
dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with.
Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in abowl of
your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Final Day
Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, making certain to leave a collection of
legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the
bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow.
Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers
your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the
floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon.
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that
is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the
gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:30 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
In article <YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
| Quote: | Cat Miracle Diet
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For
those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new
Miracle Cat Diet! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting
lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite).
the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure.
Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look
and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes
food. Good Luck!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day One
Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it
cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of
food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at
the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the
cleanest carpet in your house.
Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing.
Leave the rest to die.
Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate.
Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one
small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa.
Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this
morning.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day Two
Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it
onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of
the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the
dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of
the middle of the loaf.
Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss
and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under
the bed.
Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef
works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the
living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave.
Track footprints across the entire room.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day Three
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal
bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished
aluminum appliance you can find.
Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of
your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not
dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with.
Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in abowl of
your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Final Day
Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, making certain to leave a collection of
legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the
bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow.
Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers
your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the
floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon.
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that
is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the
gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.
|
You should never feed your cat table scraps. Dry cat food is best. Be
sure your cat has plenty of fresh clean water too.
-- |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Philip
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 2:45 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
diel@spim.com wrote:
| Quote: | In article <YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
Cat Miracle Diet
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like
people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well
now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! Except for cats that eat
like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats
are long and lean (or tiny and petite).
the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte
figure.
Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not
only look
and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what
constitutes food. Good Luck!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day One
Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as
long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your
plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock
the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before
stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up
on the cleanest carpet in your house.
Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat
one wing. Leave the rest to die.
Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or
partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the
refrigerator. Steal one
small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on
the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can
you opened this morning.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day Two
Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa.
Knock it
onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the
corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your
part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over.
Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.
Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house.
Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow
it to escape under the bed.
Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna
or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to
the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug.
Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Day Three
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's
cereal
bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest
polished aluminum appliance you can find.
Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with
on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is
seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone
else to have to deal with.
Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in
abowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl
over on the floor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Final Day
Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, making certain to leave a
collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink
lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your
spouse's or partner's pillow.
Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go
leftovers
your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin
across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then
abandon.
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a
flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in
Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and
get hard.
You should never feed your cat table scraps. Dry cat food is best.
Be
sure your cat has plenty of fresh clean water too.
|
RUBBISH. All dry food diet is what makes for constipation, bloating,
overweight, and rectal bleeding from straining to have BMs. What you
should not do to a cat that is on dry cereal diet is suddenly change the
diet during the holidays to real food from your dinner table. I've had
several cats in my life that lived into their early twenties on 'real food.'
Sorry if that blows your belief system.
--
- Philip
In observance of Pearl Harbor, feel free to
Zero in on a Mitsubishi driver and cut him off!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Ray O
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:28 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net...
<snipped>
| Quote: |
Day Three
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal
bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished
aluminum appliance you can find.
|
Why is it necessary to wait until no one is looking? Thanks to thoughtful
training by #2 son, our cat will take turns with you and only take milk from
the bowl if you're not actively dipping your spoon into the bowl. My wife
wasn't very impressed when she walked into the kitchen to see an 18 year old
sharing a bowl of cereal with the cat.
<snipped>
| Quote: |
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor
that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all
the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.
Dog food is also popular with our cats! |
--
Ray O
correct the return address punctuation to reply |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 4:01 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
In article <Cvptd.9781$714.2678@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
| Quote: | diel@spim.com wrote:
In article <YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
Cat Miracle Diet
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
--
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like
people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well
now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! Except for cats that eat
like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats
are long and lean (or tiny and petite).
the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte
figure.
Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not
only look
and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what
constitutes food. Good Luck!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
--
Day One
Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as
long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your
plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock
the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before
stalking off into the other room.
Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up
on the cleanest carpet in your house.
Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat
one wing. Leave the rest to die.
Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or
partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the
refrigerator. Steal one
small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on
the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can
you opened this morning.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
--
Day Two
Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa.
Knock it
onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the
corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your
part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over.
Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.
Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house.
Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow
it to escape under the bed.
Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna
or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to
the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug.
Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
--
Day Three
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's
cereal
bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest
polished aluminum appliance you can find.
Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with
on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is
seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone
else to have to deal with.
Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in
abowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl
over on the floor.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
--
Final Day
Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, making certain to leave a
collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink
lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your
spouse's or partner's pillow.
Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go
leftovers
your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin
across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then
abandon.
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a
flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in
Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and
get hard.
You should never feed your cat table scraps. Dry cat food is best.
Be
sure your cat has plenty of fresh clean water too.
RUBBISH. All dry food diet is what makes for constipation, bloating,
overweight, and rectal bleeding from straining to have BMs. What you
should not do to a cat that is on dry cereal diet is suddenly change the
diet during the holidays to real food from your dinner table. I've had
several cats in my life that lived into their early twenties on 'real food.'
Sorry if that blows your belief system.
|
Cats will benefit more from a GOOD QUALITY dry food. The other stuff
is ok but contains much more fat and the cat will gain weight. So keep
it on dry food and it will live a long time. Our last one lived to 17
years on DRY food before giving in to kidney failure.
It is VERY important you provide fresh clean water EVERY day for your
cat. This will contribute to a good flushing out of the urinary tract
and kidneys.
Any vet will tell you to not feed a cat table scraps, (true for dogs
also) that is if you want it to live a long cat life. Sorry but I don't
believe the story you told that you had a outdoor cat which ate table
scraps and lived to 20 plus years. It's, well ..... a B.S. story. Try
a little harder next time.
-- |
|
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|
|
ravelation
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
teggeratistopdotcom@changetheobvious.invalid (TeGGer®) wrote:
| Quote: | She walked in the back door and saw
the cat's litter box (freshly cleaned of
course).
She asked "Is that for your cat?"
Me: "No, that's for guests."
What a stupid question. What else could
it be for?
|
One of my all time favorite lines from Animal House: "You guys playing
cards?" |
|
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|
|
Gord Beaman
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
snip
| Quote: |
Go back and re-read your post. It may be misleading.
Nope. There's 'cat' and there's 'ocelot.' Seems the text quickly pressed
your "jump to conclusions" button. Read the other thread contributions.
|
Well, you -did- say "cats"
quote
| Quote: | I've had several cats in my life that lived into their early twenties on 'real food.'
Sorry if that blows your belief system.
snip
The current male tabby (14yrs) has been strickly a house cat. Found this
one abandoned or ferrule at less than one month old. Raised it by hand on a
bottle. Very connected cat. Cats and sharks? No. Cats and Orcas perhaps.
|
The word you want is 'feral' not 'ferrule' (just keeping you
honest here philip)
--
-Gord.
(use gordon in email) |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Philip
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
Gord Beaman wrote:
| Quote: | "Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
snip
Go back and re-read your post. It may be misleading.
Nope. There's 'cat' and there's 'ocelot.' Seems the text quickly
pressed
your "jump to conclusions" button. Read the other thread
contributions.
Well, you -did- say "cats"
quote
I've had several cats in my life that lived into their early
twenties on 'real food.' Sorry if that blows your belief system.
snip
|
Gord ... the ocelot was singular, not plural.
| Quote: | The current male tabby (14yrs) has been strickly a house cat.
Found this
one abandoned or ferrule at less than one month old. Raised it by
hand on a
bottle. Very connected cat. Cats and sharks? No. Cats and
Orcas perhaps.
The word you want is 'feral' not 'ferrule' (just keeping you
honest here philip)
|
Gord ... if I stop walking suddenly, you're gonna have a whole bunch of
brown stuff on your nose. Do you want to apply for the proof reader position
that opening up in my office after New Years? ;-)
--
- Philip
In observance of Pearl Harbor, feel free to
Zero in on a Mitsubishi driver and cut him off! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
probono
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
Philip wrote:
|| diel@spim.com wrote:
||| In article <YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
||| "Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
|||
|||| Cat Miracle Diet
||||
||||
|||| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|||| --
||||
|||| Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like
|||| people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well
|||| now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! Except for cats that eat
|||| like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats
|||| are long and lean (or tiny and petite).
|||| the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte
|||| figure.
|||| Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not
|||| only look
|||| and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what
|||| constitutes food. Good Luck!
||||
||||
|||| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|||| --
||||
|||| Day One
||||
|||| Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as
|||| long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your
|||| plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock
|||| the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before
|||| stalking off into the other room.
||||
|||| Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up
|||| on the cleanest carpet in your house.
||||
|||| Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat
|||| one wing. Leave the rest to die.
||||
|||| Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or
|||| partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the
|||| refrigerator. Steal one
|||| small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on
|||| the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can
|||| you opened this morning.
||||
||||
|||| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|||| --
||||
||||
||||
|||| Day Two
||||
|||| Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa.
|||| Knock it
|||| onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the
|||| corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
||||
|||| Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your
|||| part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over.
|||| Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.
||||
|||| Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house.
|||| Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow
|||| it to escape under the bed.
||||
|||| Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna
|||| or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to
|||| the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug.
|||| Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room.
||||
||||
|||| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|||| --
||||
|||| Day Three
||||
|||| Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's
|||| cereal
|||| bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest
|||| polished aluminum appliance you can find.
||||
|||| Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with
|||| on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is
|||| seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone
|||| else to have to deal with.
||||
|||| Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in
|||| abowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl
|||| over on the floor.
||||
||||
|||| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|||| --
||||
|||| Final Day
||||
|||| Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, making certain to leave a
|||| collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink
|||| lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your
|||| spouse's or partner's pillow.
||||
|||| Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go
|||| leftovers
|||| your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin
|||| across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then
|||| abandon.
||||
|||| Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a
|||| flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in
|||| Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and
|||| get hard.
|||
||| You should never feed your cat table scraps. Dry cat food is best.
||| Be
||| sure your cat has plenty of fresh clean water too.
||
|| RUBBISH. All dry food diet is what makes for constipation, bloating,
|| overweight, and rectal bleeding from straining to have BMs. What
|| you should not do to a cat that is on dry cereal diet is suddenly
|| change the diet during the holidays to real food from your dinner
|| table. I've had several cats in my life that lived into their early
|| twenties on 'real food.' Sorry if that blows your belief system.
99% of vets would NOT agree with you, Phillip. Your cats lived a long life
IN SPITE of their diet.
||
|| --
|| - Philip
|| In observance of Pearl Harbor, feel free to
|| Zero in on a Mitsubishi driver and cut him off! |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
probono
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
Ray O wrote:
|| "Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote in message
|| news:YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net...
|||
||
|| <snipped>
||
|||
||| Day Three
|||
||| Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's
||| cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the
||| closest polished aluminum appliance you can find.
||
|| Why is it necessary to wait until no one is looking? Thanks to
|| thoughtful training by #2 son, our cat will take turns with you and
|| only take milk from the bowl if you're not actively dipping your
|| spoon into the bowl. My wife wasn't very impressed when she walked
|| into the kitchen to see an 18 year old sharing a bowl of cereal with
|| the cat.
||
|| <snipped>
|||
||| Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a
||| flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy.
||| Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get
||| hard.
|||
|| Dog food is also popular with our cats!
Not a good idea. Dog food lacks certain ingredients which cats REALLY need,
like taurine.
|| --
|| Ray O
|| correct the return address punctuation to reply |
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probono
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
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|
diel@spim.com wrote:
|| In article <Cvptd.9781$714.2678@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
|| "Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
||
||| diel@spim.com wrote:
|||| In article <YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
|||| "Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
||||
||||| Cat Miracle Diet
|||||
|||||
||||| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
||||| ---
||||| --
|||||
||||| Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like
||||| people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well
||||| now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! Except for cats that eat
||||| like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats
||||| are long and lean (or tiny and petite).
||||| the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte
||||| figure.
||||| Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not
||||| only look
||||| and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what
||||| constitutes food. Good Luck!
|||||
|||||
||||| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
||||| ---
||||| --
|||||
||||| Day One
|||||
||||| Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as
||||| long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your
||||| plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock
||||| the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before
||||| stalking off into the other room.
|||||
||||| Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up
||||| on the cleanest carpet in your house.
|||||
||||| Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat
||||| one wing. Leave the rest to die.
|||||
||||| Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or
||||| partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the
||||| refrigerator. Steal one
||||| small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on
||||| the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can
||||| you opened this morning.
|||||
|||||
||||| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
||||| ---
||||| --
|||||
|||||
|||||
||||| Day Two
|||||
||||| Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa.
||||| Knock it
||||| onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the
||||| corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.
|||||
||||| Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your
||||| part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over.
||||| Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.
|||||
||||| Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house.
||||| Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow
||||| it to escape under the bed.
|||||
||||| Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna
||||| or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to
||||| the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug.
||||| Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire
||||| room.
|||||
|||||
||||| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
||||| ---
||||| --
|||||
||||| Day Three
|||||
||||| Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's
||||| cereal
||||| bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest
||||| polished aluminum appliance you can find.
|||||
||||| Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with
||||| on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is
||||| seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone
||||| else to have to deal with.
|||||
||||| Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in
||||| abowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl
||||| over on the floor.
|||||
|||||
||||| ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
||||| ---
||||| --
|||||
||||| Final Day
|||||
||||| Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, making certain to leave a
||||| collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink
||||| lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your
||||| spouse's or partner's pillow.
|||||
||||| Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go
||||| leftovers
||||| your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin
||||| across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then
||||| abandon.
|||||
||||| Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a
||||| flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in
||||| Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and
||||| get hard.
||||
|||| You should never feed your cat table scraps. Dry cat food is best.
|||| Be
|||| sure your cat has plenty of fresh clean water too.
|||
||| RUBBISH. All dry food diet is what makes for constipation,
||| bloating, overweight, and rectal bleeding from straining to have
||| BMs. What you should not do to a cat that is on dry cereal diet
||| is suddenly change the diet during the holidays to real food from
||| your dinner table. I've had several cats in my life that lived
||| into their early twenties on 'real food.' Sorry if that blows your
||| belief system.
||
|| Cats will benefit more from a GOOD QUALITY dry food. The other stuff
|| is ok but contains much more fat and the cat will gain weight. So
|| keep it on dry food and it will live a long time. Our last one
|| lived to 17 years on DRY food before giving in to kidney failure.
||
|| It is VERY important you provide fresh clean water EVERY day for your
|| cat. This will contribute to a good flushing out of the urinary
|| tract and kidneys.
||
|| Any vet will tell you to not feed a cat table scraps, (true for dogs
|| also) that is if you want it to live a long cat life. Sorry but I
|| don't believe the story you told that you had a outdoor cat which
|| ate table scraps and lived to 20 plus years. It's, well ..... a
|| B.S. story. Try a little harder next time.
|| --
Allowing cats outside in ANY urban area is just plain stupid. |
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TeGGer®
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
<diel@spim.com> floridly penned in
news:diel-874754.14371607122004@zeus-ge0.rdc-kc.rr.com:
| Quote: | You should never feed your cat table scraps. Dry cat food is best.
Be sure your cat has plenty of fresh clean water too.
|
Cats are great, properly cooked...
Remember to lift the toilet seat. This will ensure an endless supply of
cool, fresh water.
--
TeGGeR® |
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Philip
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
"Ray O" <rokigawa@tristarassociatesDOTcom> wrote in message
news:c1e86$41b62e9b$44a4a10d$31338@msgid.meganewsservers.com...
| Quote: |
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:YNntd.8053$Va5.133@newsread3.news.atl.earthlink.net...
snipped
Day Three
Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal
bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished
aluminum appliance you can find.
Why is it necessary to wait until no one is looking? Thanks to thoughtful
training by #2 son, our cat will take turns with you and only take milk
from the bowl if you're not actively dipping your spoon into the bowl. My
wife wasn't very impressed when she walked into the kitchen to see an 18
year old sharing a bowl of cereal with the cat.
|
ROFLOL!!! Being a male child, does he not only belch on que but hock up
his stomach contents in class?
| Quote: | snipped
Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor
that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all
the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.
Dog food is also popular with our cats!
--
Ray O
|
The year I had an ocelot, it too showed a preference for Alpo. Then she
started wanting fresher food ... things that were still moving when she sank
her teeth into it.
--
- Philip
In observance of Pearl Harbor, feel free to
Zero in on a Mitsubishi driver and cut him off! |
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Philip
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
<diel@spim.com> wrote in message
news:diel-86165F.17075807122004@zeus-ge0.rdc-kc.rr.com...
| Quote: | In article <Cvptd.9781$714.2678@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net>,
"Philip" <1chip-state1@earthlink.net> wrote:
diel@spim.com wrote:
You should never feed your cat table scraps. Dry cat food is best.
Be
sure your cat has plenty of fresh clean water too.
RUBBISH. All dry food diet is what makes for constipation, bloating,
overweight, and rectal bleeding from straining to have BMs. What you
should not do to a cat that is on dry cereal diet is suddenly change the
diet during the holidays to real food from your dinner table. I've had
several cats in my life that lived into their early twenties on 'real
food.'
Sorry if that blows your belief system.
Cats will benefit more from a GOOD QUALITY dry food. The other stuff
is ok but contains much more fat and the cat will gain weight. So keep
it on dry food and it will live a long time. Our last one lived to 17
years on DRY food before giving in to kidney failure.
It is VERY important you provide fresh clean water EVERY day for your
cat. This will contribute to a good flushing out of the urinary tract
and kidneys.
Any vet will tell you to not feed a cat table scraps, (true for dogs
also) that is if you want it to live a long cat life. Sorry but I don't
believe the story you told that you had a outdoor cat which ate table
scraps and lived to 20 plus years. It's, well ..... a B.S. story. Try
a little harder next time.
--
|
I suppose you mean well in telling me all this. I'll take your good
intentions at face value. You're just repeating what you've spent money to
hear from a vet. Take a look in your cat's mouth and tell me what you
think all those sharp pointed teeth are for. Clue: they are not there for
grinding up grains and grasses. That the jaw cannot grind side to side is
another clue. Tearing and CHOPPING meat is the design objective.
I never said I kept the ocelot in the house for 20 years nor implied such.
Better you reread that earlier post. I believe the phrase "a bit" is in
there. Are you one of those nut cases who imposes his/her morality and
what-all on animals? Puleeeeeease, spare me.
--
- Philip
In observance of Pearl Harbor, feel free to
Zero in on a Mitsubishi driver and cut him off! |
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Philip
Guest
|
| Posted:
Wed Dec 08, 2004 5:41 am Post subject:
Re: CAT Miracle! |
|
|
"probono" <forthepubic@good.com> wrote in message
news:rgstd.1153$6f6.47@edtnps89...
| Quote: | Allowing cats outside in ANY urban area is just plain stupid.
|
Agreed. If you live near foothills like we do, domestic cats become coyote
bait the moment they venture outside. SOME learn to steer clear of coyotes
.... most don't.
--
- Philip
In observance of Pearl Harbor, feel free to
Zero in on a Mitsubishi driver and cut him off! |
|
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